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[July 7, 2003]

Crikey, it's July already? That familiar question: What the he11 have I been doing with my life? Well, today's Banter answers that question in a most humiliating manner... For one thing, I've been wasting unimaginable amounts of time editing and doctoring screenshots from my favorite anime, "Neon Genesis Evangelion". Except this time I didn't just doctor a random one or two for TRS accessory image purposes, no... Instead, I got a strange idea in my head of a possible "story" I could tell entirely with badly doctored images, mostly spurred on by a webpage I found presenting a demented Escaflowne/Mr. T crossover the same way. [If I ever find that link again, I'll be sure to put it up somewhere. ;;>] Of course, I could probably do the same exact thing far more effectively -- and humorously -- using Macromedia Flash, though there is the problem that I've never used the program in my life and that would likely devour far more of my time than the "doctored image" approach. [Still... Corny animations, combined with cheesy voiceovers provided by über-talented -- hah! -- yours truly and familiar tunes being brutally misused? It's an irresistable idea...]

Of course, knowing me, said idea revolves entirely around the Evangelions (blessed Evas...) doing things that they never get to do in the anime [while at the same time poking fun at the other characters for doing the things they're known all-too-well for -- how many times can Asuka say, "Antaa~ baka?!"]. Namely, actually getting to express themselves for once, and in ways that don't involve maniacally screaming ["roaring" to our tiny ears] and beating the crap out of things. Which doesn't go to say that they won't be doing either of those.

I haven't gotten terribly far in the "story" [not that I have a whole lot planned, thank goodness], but I have two parts, at least, ready for viewing. If you have any familiarity with this anime, you might as well check it out. GO!!!

The Self-Induced Chastity Belt

[June 13, 2003] 12:30 PM, just got home from an appointment at my psychiatrist and I have a few hours to waste before I get to go to another appointment at the chiropractor's. Hours obviously best spent working on my copious amounts of homework, though, being as I was mentally reciting bits of "Banter" to myself the entire car ride home... as usual, I'll submit to the impulse to write here first.

About a week or less ago, I was buzzed by someone on WinMX who saw my file collection, was quite impressed, and wanted to trade with me. Turned out he had some rather rare stuff, as well, so I had no problem with this idea. We ended up exchanging AIM IDs, though the trading hasn't gotten very far yet. The fact that I'm on dialup is entirely to blame, though, actually, this should be changing soon, thank the Shishigami... My brother somehow convinced my dad to order cable Internet, and people are supposed to come turn it on this weekend. If all goes well, I'll be downloading and uploading like a complete maniac! The end of Dial-up's Oppressive Rule, at long last!!

At any rate, while we sent a least a few files back and forth, we lapsed into some semblance of conversation. For some reason, the subject of dating came up. It seemed to be on this fellow's mind, far as his own interpersonal matters were concerned. For all I know, he's one of those big-time dating guys, who just dates for the sake of dating. That's just a guess, though he seemed to be rather curious, perhaps even disturbed, by the fact that I've never dated anyone. It seems I lost the dialogue, so, to paraphrase, "Most people would find it pretty strange that someone who's in college has never gone on a date. Then again, outside opinion isn't always a consideration." I tried to explain this "quirk" of mine best as I could, though I probably didn't satisfy his intrigue too much. As I understand it, "Moonside" (the guy's Internet handle) was communicating with another person who didn't date, and the whole phenomenon rather perplexed him.

Unnecessarily, I think. I've written about some of my feelings on this before, if I remember correctly. Personally, I don't really understand the dating convention that well. As far as I think I understand its typical applications these days, the whole idea sounds pretty abysmal to me. I actually cannot even imagine myself going around asking guys on dates, in the "typical" manner. It just does not interest me at all. Really, what is in it for all of the people that do it? It seems like a bloody hobby for some people. "Hmm, semi-sexy person spotted on radar. Approach. Flirt. Go out somewhere together. Get as 'far' with him/her as possible." Lather, rinse, repeat. The "Ex"s stack up, children are inadvertantly conceived, diseases are spread, lives are ruined. That's generalizing quite a bit, though obviously there are some folks out there who fit the bill.

Like I said, I really don't know the psychological reasons why some people routinely date the way they do. I suppose some people feel that they need to be in a "relationship" in order to feel secure about themselves (this could relate to psychological issues or even just social pressures). Or they are just die-hard for the sort of physical contact that ensues in such relationships. Some people are even just addicted to the chemistry of "falling in love" (though they can't sustain relationships after that initial high). Anyone that satisfies any of the those categories are much different from me. I would not want to date someone just for the sake of being in a "relationship" or having someone to kiss/neck/etc. with. I do not give myself over to other persons in that manner so easily. It is against my nature in every way.

Honestly, I do not feel a need to rush out there and find someone for such purposes. Certainly, I like the idea of having a significant other (and any, ahem, "fun" that comes along with it ^_^;), though would I want a vast assortment of past and current "boyfriends" on my resume? I don't think so. There have probably been various opportunities for that "oh hey maybe that guy likes me we should go out to Taco Bell together meow" in the past -- pre-college days. However, I don't relate to people in the typical manner -- and I was much less adjusted in the past than I am now -- and odds are if anyone showed some sort of interest in me in the "typical" manner (i.e., dropping obtuse "hints" like flirtaciously teasing me) I would either misinterpret them or miss it all entirely.

But, then, I really doubt I inspire much if anything in the way of ardors, especially these days, being as I don't get out at all (except to go to class) and I don't exactly go to any lengths to make myself presentable. You know, some girls just have that popular-culture sort of sex appeal (what with their body build, behavior, dress code, and various other "furnishings"), which I could never truly attain even if I wanted to and why bother trying. That's not the way I am. The sorts of guys who would go for popular sex appeal are not the kind of guys I would want the attentions of. Simply just appearing and behaving largely as comes natural to me I see much as a way of eliminating the throngs of non-potential "mates". Now, the guy who could appreciate me for who and what I am -- that's the only guy I want.

See, I am incredibly specific about the type of person I could go for. My "ideal mate", without being, in many ways, especially "idealized". A lot of the things that matter to other people don't matter to me, and a lot of things other folks could care less about are of the utmost importance. I think it's good to be picky, and technically I can afford to be -- with six billion humans on Earth, odds are there exists are least one with whom I could really "click". (Of course, there is the problem of how on Earth I could find this fellow, getting out as often as I do, though that is a dilemma I intend on eventually dealing with.) There are enough trashy relationships out there I have every right to aspire to greatness.

The most important thing, right off the bat, is for the guy to be a good friend first. I can't understand the logic behind jumping into a relationship before you even know the other person (customs in other countries aside) -- before you have any idea of the road of life they've walked, their struggles, their triumphs, their likes and dislikes, their personal codes of behavior and patterns of thought. Are they someone you can respect, admire, and, mostly importantly, trust? I know of the phenomenon where two people who are good friends feel uncomfortable going any deeper, but, regardless -- being a good friend first is a must. This philosophy no doubt comes from my parents... I remember one time, a long while back, I was talking to my dad. I can't really remember the question I asked (had something to do with friends my dad had in his adult life), though I remember his response rather well: "Mommy is my best friend." Endearing and sincere. I never forgot it.

Appearance is not the primary consideration for me. My own standards of beauty are very different from the norms as it is -- many traditionally "ugly" things are very beautiful to me. A lot of people considered "sexy" in the mainstream do nothing for me. But, at least, I would want someone's appearance to at least reflect the fact that he cares about hygiene and all but doesn't really care how other people think he looks. (What I do, basically.) I don't want someone who's "beautiful" (most of the "beautiful" people these days look like phonies with ill personalities to me and are thus completely unattractive), but someone who is, at least, as attractive as I am (har, har), which actually leaves a very wide berth. (I do wish I had a bit less fat on me, though I'm by no means "ugly". Some of my features are unusual, if anything, and a far cry from the disillusioned modern standards of beauty, but not "ugly". Though you're free to think so. ::P I take some solace in the fact that guys would have crawling over me in another day and age, fat and all.)

Personality and mentality are of far more importance. (Though dependence on cigarettes, alcohol, or malignant drugs would eliminate someone right off the bat.) Intelligence? A must. (If they're not somewhere near my own intelligence level, I really don't think it would work.) A grounded sense of reality, but a fertile imagination? Would definitely be nice. An offbeat sense of humor? Please do. A deep sense of respect for self, others, and everything else? An immunity to peer pressure? An open and receptive mind? Prudence and wisdom? All desirable in some quantity or another. What I really want is someone who is enough like me for us to, as I said, "click" (basic compatibility, is what it is), but different enough to keep things interesting.

Gender issues have always been an important point for me, as well. (Being as I have a friend who is transgender, I've ended up giving my own stance some degree of thought.) They definitely would be important in a relationship. Personally, I consider myself "androgynous" in a sense. I think "traditional" (i.e., modern-Western, or at least "American") ideas of gender roles -- how males and females are supposed to behave -- is a load of succotash. Certainly, there are some essential physical differences between male and female humans (including the female's natural predisposition to less physical strength, which always struck me as being a great injustice on Nature's part -_-; -- ever notice how I idolize "chicks" who manage to get around this problem? ;;>), but studies of different cultures around the world really do show that most gender role-associated behavior is learned, not innate. Males and females really are not as different, generally speaking, as culture and society like to make it seem.

I personally believe that stereotypes are only useful as stereotypes, not something to pattern behavior after. The extraordinarily wide range of human behavior, whether typically organized in this society under "male" or "female", should not see such restrictions. Everyone is different and everyone should be, regardless of their sex chromosome configuration, absolutely free to behave as comes naturally (of course, respecting the philosophy that any personal behavior is fine as long as it's not malignant/malicious). This is how I live. As it goes, most of my behavior seems to fall more into "gender non-specific" that anything else. Still, there are girls out there with more "masculine" behavior. There are guys out there with more "feminine" behavior. And there are the girls who act like "girls", the guys who act like "guys", and the people in both categories who might act differently if they didn't feel like they were under any sort of pressure from "society" to behave according to certain abstract "gender roles".

Now, I like talking about that stuff and all, though anyone reading this is probably wondering why I decided to bring it up here, specifically. Good question... So, back to the "ideal guy" line of thought. A lot of "masculine" behavior is, in my opinion, ridiculous -- and I'm obviously not the only person that recognizes this. (For a hilarious example, investigate "The Man Song". >>D) Dominant? Emotionless? Risk-taker, beer-swiller, aggressive, assertive? Physical rather than intellectual? Oversexed and promiscuous? I don't think so. If you think that's how guys are supposed to be, you have my disdain (or, if you're a girl, you have my pity). This is a stereotype to make stupid jokes about, not to live by. My "ideal guy" wouldn't be a "pussy" (because I'm not, either), but, preferably, his values would make as big a deal of gender as my own do. That is, very little.

That's the jist of it. The rate I'm going now, I'm doomed to be single for at least another decade, though if things go my way eventually, it'll be worth it. Smart, healthy, funny, respectable, open-minded, passionate, honest -- if those aren't on the menu, what's the point, really?

TODAY'S SONGS: I like making comments on some of the music I listen to (this is "Banter", after all), though, as you might have noticed, I've opted to go away from detailing whatever happens to be playing in Winamp (being as there is a lot of crap on my computer right now). Instead, I put down whatever songs are on my mind at the moment or moving me that particular day. Some days I really am preoccupied with a particular song and other days it's not especially obvious. Today is more of the latter, though I suppose two songs that spontaneously popped into my head without any provocation are probably worth mentioning. The first is "Komm, süsser Tod" -- from that sick movie "End of Evangelion", what else? -- which has definitely preoccupied me before, given the badly-in-need-on-an-update work I did on it for my VGM page and all. The second is "Soyokaze no yukue" by "I've" (whoever that is...), a song I found on WinMX by doing a search on the word "soyokaze" ("breeze"), of all things. It's actually quite catchy and cute, very similar in style and mood to "Ren'ai no sainou" from "Tenchi Muyou!", a song I'm rather fond of (even though the OVA, though it had its moments, could have been much better, IMO). If you like the one, you should definitely check out the other.

"Will somebody do something about that bird?!"

[June 10, 2003] Blah, June already... I've been doing especially bad as of late. Getting no real exercise whatsoever (unless the occasional sessions in the backyard garden count, which have been pretty rare lately due to the annoying proliference of rainy days). Dauntingly behind in my summer class. Sleep schedule is awful. I've missed enough classes so far that the class requirements says I've earned a one-letter grade deduction already. And this is the third time I'll need to take a make-up test. >_<

Donald the conure's near-constant screaming doesn't help my general mood, either -- he's probably going to start growing new feathers soon, which makes him incredibly irritable and, well, loud. He's as demanding as a bloody baby, and it is so hard to keep him satisfied! How am I supposed to concentrate on my reading when there's this constant, grating squawking? Sure, taking him out shuts him up, but a lot of times he won't be content to just sit there -- he had to climb all over my stuff, leaving his droppings everywhere, destroying anything he can get his beak on. His absolute favorite spot in my room is my CD cabinet, which has all of my CDs stacked in jewel cases in the back and just enough room in front for Donald to fit. It's quite a fun game for him, to try to pull an individual CD out of the stacks -- except he has a bad habit of biting off the tabs or any other breakable parts. Can't even remember how many cases he's destroyed that way, so I don't know why I continue to let him go in there. He is very insistent sometimes -- the cabinet is to the right of my computer, so when I have him on my shoulder when I'm at the comp Donald can see the cabinet quite easily -- he knows what's in there, whether the doors are shut or not. And he will climb down onto my hands and glance excitedly in its direction -- and that sort of demand is just a tad hard to ignore.

Donald is a very hard bird to work with. I haven't had any real experience with other avian individuals (except cockatiels, but they don't count ::p), so I can't really compare. He demands my presence constantly, and he's been especially obnoxious recently. I'm sensitive to loud noises and I really don't have any way to ignore him -- the only way to shut him up is to take him out. (Putting him in his cage and covering it with a sheet in the middle of the day tends not to work.) And I am the only person in this bloody house who does it! He's not even my bird! He's my sister's; she brought him home from the petstore she once worked at, out of mercy if anything. That petstore was not a proper setting for large birds, and Donald suffered for it. He's gotten better, sure, but Shannon and I are the only ones who can really handle him. I only got good at it because Shannon moved out of the house to an apartment complex that doesn't allow pets, and without Shannon around someone had to become Donald's "new mama". Of course, that someone is me, I suppose because I have a certain sensitivity for non-humans and, like I said, Donald's not exactly someone you can just ignore. Of course, my parents and brother don't deal with him, which is nearly equivalent to "ignoring" -- if he's annoying them, I'm the one who hears from them, "Get that bird to shut up!"

It's all very aggravating... But I'm just in a very irritable mood. Very irritable, hopeless mood. Of course it will pass, but I'm miserable until it does. Gawd knows the bird can be lots of fun sometimes, and I've gotten so many scars on my hands looking out for his welfare (giving him anti-plucking medicine lately has been especially fun) -- who knows why I do it. But on a day like this, I'm not in the mood for taking him out and keeping him amused with the silly little noises, singing, and gestures that he loves. (Rather, I'm inclined to flick him on the beak or tug his tail if he so much as chuckles.) I'm not in the mood for it! Keen irritability in me tends to signify one thing, in which case it's all a matter of weathering the storm, so to speak.

Still, the bad sleep lately hasn't helped matters. Last night, I could not fall asleep, even though I had pulled an all-nighter the night before -- talk about ridiculous, and frustrating!! I took stuff to get rid of my slightly-stuffy nose, but even the bloody Nyquil didn't have any effect. I was so exasperated I was crying -- that special sort of crying where your face scrunches up into a knot and, lips stretched in a tight grimace, you make weird sobby-gaspy noises, lots of them. And, well, you cry, and if you look in the mirror it's a pretty horrifying spectacle. It all seemed to come out of nowhere, and the reason for the crying seemed extremely unusual even at the time, though whenever I thought about the predicaments I was getting myself into I suppose it made sense. Some degree of sense, anyway. It was definitely different from the sort of crying I usually do (whenever I do cry) -- the I'm-talking-to-people-about-my-problems-and-oh-damn-here-those-tears-come-I-sure-as-hell-can't-talk-now kind. (And then there's the collapse-onto-bed-and-sob-into-pillow kind, though it's been a long time since I had that one...)

Too bad it had to be a nice day today... Maybe I'll get out, pull weeds, and get attacked by angry ants like I did yesterday, but only when the sun starts going down and all. (Thing about summers I love -- the sun's going down but you have two hours before it actually gets completely dark. It's so wonderful. My favorite time to be outside, I think.) Till then, I'm in no bloody mood to attend to the vast amounts of annoying schoolwork I have to do -- so, ahhhh, I guess I'll go take on those mean-arse Space Pirates in the Phazon Mines again. "Metroid Prime", in case you didn't know. Been playing that lately even though my skills are arguable; I took a several-day hiatus ever since I got my arse pummelled last time. It was not fun.

::returns later on:: Okay, I fared a little better that time, but I still didn't make it to the next save point. I ended up facing off with an invicible floating robot with only two tanks of life, which, suffice to say, was not fun. I panicked badly and soon died. If we compare my skills in Metroid Prime to those in Metal Gear Solid, though, I would make a much better galactic bounty hunter than anti-terrorist espionage person. Still, I wouldn't last very long, either way. This is why I stick to doodling.

Cleaned up the birdroom a bit -- suffice to say, it's disgusting. Moths everywhere -- they come in the bird seed, and if you don't stay on top of cleaning up the food the birds spill or their piles of dried droppings, the moths get out of control, quick. And dust everywhere, too. With five cockatiels that are constantly molting, there's bird dander and bits of down and feathers everywhere. Coats everything. We even have a hospital air filter in there, though I don't think they have birds in mind when they made it. I blame the cockatiels for virtually all of the mess -- Donald doesn't shed nearly as much. In fact, I wish he'd grow new feathers more often. I'm not especially fond of the cockatiels -- they're innocent creatures and all, but I wish I didn't have to deal with them. It was a mistake to let the original two raise a clutch -- and an even worse idea to keep the babies.

I ended up claiming the male baby, whom I call Perseus (Persey). I actually tried to take proper care of him at first -- had him in my room, took him out all the time. But, then, this was before my sister moved out, and before the bird room had indeed become the bird room. Since Shannon left, all of the birds went into the room that had once served as our playroom, and later our computer room. But now it's for the birds. Since Donald became my responsibility, I've basically neglected the 'tiels, attention-wise -- I don't have enough in me for more than Donald, really. He needs it more than the cockatiels do, obviously. They're a bunch of near-feral ingrates who have free reign of the room. They have one another for company, an entire room to fly around in and wreck, and I'm just the supplier of fresh food and water who occasionally cleans up after them. I hate them, and they hate me. It's a mutual relationship in that way, though I often wish I were rid of them. I would rather have guinea pigs again than the cockatiels. Honestly.

Now the worst thing about the tiels is, as I've mentioned, the associated mess. Throw in the fact that the "bird room" is supposed to serve as a studio for me. You know, a place where I can dabble in stuff other than the ever-versatile act of doodling. Artists in the past have probably thrived under far worse conditions, though it makes a terrible working place. Forensic scientists could easily find bird byproducts in any of the paintings I've done in that room -- all of the dust and stuff drifting in the air that inevitably gets into the paint. And it would be impossible to do any sculpture without the sculpture-in-progress being the inevitably resting place of much dust. And with birds flying all over the place, who's to say they're not going to land a big one on your latest project? (Donald actually laid a dropping on a painting that was, coincidentally, of him, though there is no sign of it now, thank goodness. Criticism or contribution -- you make the final judgment.) Storage is also a big problem. Like I said, dust literally coats any object in that room. It gets into the cabinets and drawers. Nothing is safe.

You know, maybe if I had a real studio and not an aviary to work in, I might actually get something done art-wise. I like to think that, anyway.

Goddam 'tiels!

Anyway, cleaning in there had made me VERY irritable. More than before. Every one of Donald's obnoxious squawks is followed up immediately by a vehement "SHUT UP!!!" (And then my sister in the other room, corrupting my brother with White Wolf RPG stuff -- Satan's other game -- yells at me.) The little brat's in there squawking like a freak right now. At times like this I really wish I had telepathic animal powers like those animal counselor folks who profess to have such abilities. Always wanted to know what the he11 that bird was always screaming at. But since I don't know, I have to go in there and harass him to make him shut up for a half-hour's time, at the most. A little silence is better than nothing.

Don't get parrots. Invest in rain forest preservation instead. You won't regret it.

YESTERDAY'S SONG: "Bright Eyes", by Mike Batt, sung by Art Garfunkle, from the movie "Watership Down". It didn't strike me either of the times I saw the movie, though I finally downloaded it and it's gotten to me. I've been singing -- rather badly -- the few lines I know over and over again. It's kind of an odd song, though definitely one that grows on you.

TODAY'S SONG: "My Land" by Sonata Arctica. Now, I'm not a "metal" person -- those coarse death metal grunted lyrics I can't stand, especially. But I dig harder stuff from time to time, and I definitely don't mind a good electric guitar. I prefer guitar without lyrics, though there are occasional exceptions. Being the sheltered individual that I am, I only heard of Sonata Arctica -- a "melodic metal" band from, erm, somewhere in Scandinavia -- when I was browsing someone's files on Kazaa, long ago. I thought the name "Sonata Arctica" sounded cool, so I tried a song out -- "End of Time" -- and I dug it. Later on, I sampled more of their work, and one of the songs I got was "My Land", and it's definitely my favorite of what I've heard. Never really tried interpreting the lyrics (in English, BTW), though the song itself is just great.

NOTE ON IMAGE: Screenshot from the GameCube title "Metroid Prime", doctored by me to include a bad webcam likeness of Donald. Were he were really an enemy in that game, the aura he exudes would be so ominous even Metroid Prime herself would turn tail and flee. Really.

Well, that was pointless...

[May 30, 2003] Is it just me or is this text rather difficult to read against the black-with-light-colored-specks background? I just think so. About time I changed that, isn't it? The only reason I haven't yet is because changing one thing on a website requires a whole cascading reaction of further changes to really work. And that's not something I ought to be spending a whole lot of time on right now...

But, speaking of the website, I've mentioned in Banter before how I want to change the whole layout of this place. The lack of real updates is getting pretty ludicrous, as well. (Stupid as I feel only updating THIS page, time and time again, at least Banter gives visitors the impression that I'm still around and I haven't completely abandoned the place or anything...) The good news is... I will update again, er, someday. Now how many times have I said that? ;;p But no, really. If nothing else, I have a small stack of paintings I did for Spring Semester (some of them as yet unfinished, but...), and, wowsers, only about three are Eva-related! How's that for a breakthrough? So any loyal fans I might have (unimaginable as it often feels to me, they seem to be out there) -- or, ahem, plagiarizers, for that matter (of which I likely have a few loyal ones, as well >::I ) -- will have at least some stuff to look forward to. Soon as I get around to taking some decent photographs of said pictures (probably with my sister's help -- she's played around with cameras a bit more than I have), anyway. Speaking of Eva-related stuff, though, my Fan/Eva page is probably going to end up being redone from the ground up, so if by some remarkable chance you actually like any of the drawings/etc. there, better save them to your harddrive while you have a chance -- a lot of them are going to disappear forever. ::maniacal laughter::

::looks out window:: Hmm, guess it decided to stop raining...

"Take the gold! Take it!!"

[May 29, 2003] Oh Summer School, how do I love thee... Not a whole lot. Back when it was time to register for Fall 2003, I thought it might be a good idea to take a summer course, for once, as well. I still had two Art History courses that needed to be taken, so I thought, eh, why not. Running out of courses to take, so might as well get those two out of the way. Summer, Fall, bang, bang. So what if I'm sacrificing a month's worth of time during which I otherwise wouldn't have gotten much in the way of anything done, right?

Hmm, so, yeah, I'm taking "Art History I" right now; it'll go on until June 20 or so. Not very incredibly long, so, of course, the course is rather intense as a result. I should've expected it, but evidently I wasn't thinking about the matter too much when I walked into the classroom on the first day. About two chapters (from the book) covered every session, and three sessions a week: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Not to mention it's in the morning -- 10:30. Now that's damn early for me, but I suppose I've just gotten too accustomed to starting my days at 1:00 PM ever since I got out of high school... The book is kind of annoying to read ("browse randomly" is one thing, but reading straight through one chapter is just -- ugh) and memorizing specifics on tons of images (by whom? from where? made when and of what? etc.) is a real chore. I've had my doubts about my chances of survival in this course (yeah, already), but the professor is pretty cool. I think if I pull all of my resources together I'll make it out with a high B (or maybe even a low A). Unpleasant as a course heavy on reading and memorization can be, I'm definitely learning stuff, tons of stuff. (How much of it "sticks" remains to be seen, though.)

Memorial Day weekend was pretty fun. My friend Mare-chan (I've mentioned her here and there) came over to my neck of the woods -- over an hour trip, though it takes her longer because she hasn't been able to commit herself to the shorter (or at least faster) route that I use. (Tsk, what can ya do... Whenever she feels comfortable enough exploring strange new roads, I guess.) A nice change of pace, being as I tend to be the one to cross counties and drive to her dorm (or house, depending on the time of year). Mare-chan has the rather esteemed privilege of being the only person I really hang out with right now -- a close friend and a "hang-out" buddy. Guess I have some other people here and there that I could call "friend", though I don't actually hang out with any of them (but don't say I never try -- eh, Wolfie?).

There are various reasons for my current state of more-or-less solitude: I'm very picky about the sorts of people I'd hang around with (Nuwan "Silge" was a mistake; why do you think I cut it off with him?) and the commuting-to-community-college lifestyle isn't especially conducive to getting to know folks, just to name two. Throw in the facts that I'm not a natural conversation-maker and my personality might be apt to rub off on people the wrong way (or theirs on me). By nature, I'm not as inclined to socialization as a lot of folks, and a certainly do cherish a good amount of time to myself, though, hmm, I suppose it might be kind of nice to have a wider circle of friends... But how? Heh, what do you think I'm currently seeing two different psychotherapy-type people for? ;;p

Mare-chan's a good friend. She puts up with my issues, I put up with hers, we help each other out when we can, and it's all pretty good. Well, anytime you put together two people with well-documented "psychological disorders", you're bound to run into trouble now and again, and that's bloody true for the two of us. The road's not always smooth, but somehow we manage to pull through and enjoy each other's company anyway.

So, right, she came over Memorial Day weekend. That Saturday ended up being the day my family gets together for a picnic and all, so Mare came over for that. There wasn't any picnic, being as the weather was being oddly British-like and raining a lot (seemed like today was the first day in a while that got any sun), so we all just hung around inside at my aunt's house. Mare couldn't get too interested in the mean-a$$ Coca Cola puzzle currently being worked on -- at Aunt Karen's house, there's always a puzzle waiting to be finished, and I, being somehow unable to strike up much conversation with my own kin, usually end up working on the puzzle at every gathering. But Mare wasn't in the mood, which was too bad (puzzles rox0rz), so in between food sessions we ended up sneaking into the den with the spare TV and watching "Watership Down" (I asked her to bring her copy over because I'd been wanting to see it again and I haven't gotten around to securing my own copy yet). Then we ate dessert and split like a couple of ingrates. Oh well.

Once securely at my place, we did as any good friends ought to do -- lounge in front of the TV. ::p Well, maybe not right away, but we certainly did do a lot of lounging... First thing on the agenda, I had to show Mare "Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi" -- or, for those of you less well informed ;;P, "Spirited Away". You know, the Miyazaki flick. I had my doubts about the movie the first time I heard about it ("what the hell kinda plot is that?"), but, of course, actually watching it gave me a somewhat different perspective. I don't think it beats "Mononoke Hime" for me, but it sure is great cinema, great storytelling, and brimming with artistry I can appreciate. I wish some of the characters had been explored a bit more -- such as my personal favorite, Kaonashi. (Come on, doesn't that sound cooler than "No-Face"?) [I really like the design on Haku's dragon form, as well, but as a character Haku didn't really do much for me.] Mare accurately pointed at after the movie was over that Kaonashi didn't really serve any obvious purpose in the film -- at least, none that either of us can really figure out. Doesn't keep me from thinking he's a cool character, though, albeit in a rather demented way. (In some strange way, he reminds me of the 'harpies' from "End of Evangelion", what with the big-scary-mouth-and-no-eyes thing going on. Anyone know if there's some kind of traditional Japanese motif behind both of them?)

Among the other things we did: Watched "Boys Don't Cry" and "Eddy Izzard: Dress to Kill". Sunday we made a roadtrip (with me at the helm) all the way to Edgewater (across the river from NYC) to go to the Japanese mall there (mostly because I'd learned that volume 8 of the Evangelion manga had come out and I had to have it >::D). Last night, I saw a special on TV about the manga porn industry. And today, I found a roadkill turkey vulture that I, erm, took home with me. O_O I can explain, really!! But, at the moment, I've run out of steam, so I'm just listing this stuff here so I can remember to write about it later, maybe. Heh.

NOW PLAYING: "Sea" from "Autumn" by George Winston. One of my dad's Windham Hill CDs that I ripped for the hell of it. Mmm, pretty piano stuff...

NOTE ON IMAGE: The thought of Kaonashi offering drugs to Sen instead of gold seemed to come pretty naturally to me. ;;> Unfortunately, I couldn't find any good pictures of drugs to doctor into his hands -- best I found was a bag of pink stuff, and I have no idea what it is. Looks like some sort of nasty meat, if anything. >>}

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rachel.k.clark@comcast.net

 The Raptorian Sector -- Banter. All original content © 1996-2003 Rachel K. Clark -- All Rights Reserved.
CREDITS FOR OTHER PICTURES:
Screenshots from "Evangelion" Copyright © GAINAX/Project Eva.
Screenshot from "Watership Down" Copyright © Nepenthe Productions.
"Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi" and "Mononoke Hime" Copyright © Studio Ghibli.
"Metroid Prime" Copyright © Nintendo / Retro Studios.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.