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StuPid ReMix

[February 18, 2003] Well, this's Banter, so I can babble about whatever I want! Last time, it was about a crazy dream; this time, it'll be about a compilation CD I wasted far too much time making. But, hey, what's wrong with wasting time making compilation CDs -- the more time wasted, the more likely that CD will endure as an amusing and well-thought-out collection of audio to listen to for years to come. And this doesn't just apply to CDs -- before the days of the glorious CD-R (whose own days seem limited now due to MP3 players and whatever'll come after them, but I don't care at the moment because I don't have one; even my Discman is so utterly primitive it's about as shock-absorbent as a 12-foot-tall tower of playing cards, but nevermind that), there were of course custom audio cassette compilations. My dad made some for himself that he's been listening to for about as long as I've been alive (well, I think he converted them to CDs by now, but anyway) -- and that's not too shabby.

Righty then... Before I decided to sit myself in front of the computer to vegetate further, I'd been out in the living room trying to make a drawing for this eViL 3-D Design class that I took last semester... And ended up missing lots of classes for, and didn't do a lot of assignments, cried in front of the teacher in more than once, and somehow managed to get away with an I/C that I still haven't gotten rid of. And I thought I had left those glorious days behind me in high school... >_< Back to the point, I was supposed to have drawn, like, five or so "portfolio-quality" pictures in this studio lab thing we have to do at my college, but exactly what you're supposed to draw was always pretty vague, like everything else in that dreadful class. Teacher said something about drawing the projects that you make for the class, but what can I say -- my projects sux0rz (forgive me for falling into the pit of lamer 1337ism, please...), with the exception of about two that I already did drawings for. Well, there are about two others that are decent, but they're both so... plain and boring, I'd have to pretend I was high on shrooms to make anything interesting out of them. Maybe that's what I'll have to end up doing. Short of getting high on real shrooms, that is, but that's just not like me, you know? Besides, people high on shrooms have a tendency to spontaneously disembowel Mexican lizards, and then go do weird experiments to themselves in sensory deprivation tanks and de-evolve and run around until they find a sheep to gnaw on. (Or am I the only one who's seen that movie?)

But, yeah, I was using these Prismacolor artist marker things that I got originally with the intension of using them as shaders for that Holy Shito! comic-doujinshi-thing I still haven't started (but just got a flood of new ideas for earlier today, so all hope is not lost, my children!), and unlike most of the markers you'll find, these are waterproof. With the deplorable side effect that they smell rancid and kill about 500,000 (rough guess) irreplaceable brain cells per whiff. I had the fan on in the room, but that just wasn't working, so for fear of my brain hitting critically low numbers of operational neurons or whathaveyou (pending all that controversial stem cell research, assuming that would save the brain of an inhalants addict, which I'm guessing it wouldn't, and I'm not an inhalants addict anyway), I decided to type some babble like the jelly-bellied fruitcake I am. (Mmm... fruitcake... Only had it about once in my life, but I actually remember it being rather good, not at all deserving the bad rep it gets in innumerable Christmastime jokes.)

I highly suspect that drawing I was working on of being utterly deplorable (even though my dad recently checked in with a word of encouragement after seeing it -- my dear Vatti), but then there are few things I hate more than any form of drawing which requires the constant use of measuring and straight-edge. I currently have such a squiggly, messy, organic type of style, so if I can't sit there and let the lines flow I'm essentially miserable. The ultra-tedious shading method that I was taught as "rendering" is much more fun to me than any use of the RuLeR. Rulers are for measuring the dimensions of pictures and the borders on the edges, kay, not for doing an entire picture with! I'm not a draftsperson, get that ruler away from me!! That's just me, of course -- I hold a certain kind of awe for anyone who can render geometric shapes and perspectives like it's second nature. Way beyond my league, unless I was enrolled in Technical Drawing Boot Camp or something, which would probably undue five years of psycho-therapy if I ever had to endure. Anyway, probably the only thing keeping me working on my ultra-krippy 3-D Designs drawing earlier (for as little time as I was working, heh) was that aforementioned CD I just made.

Now on the top of this CD I have scribbled "StuPid ReMix" (with a half-arsed attempt at cool-looking letters), a compilation spurred on by my occasional need to listen to something completely tasteless and stupid, combined with my inexplicable love for video game tunes. What does that mean? A CD full of Dr. Demento-type novelties, all pertaining to video games, almost entirely created by fans. There's a certain charm to these "ReMixes" (as D.J. Pretzel of O.C. ReMix likes to capitalize it) once you get into them. I currently lack the prowess to make my own, so I like to check out what other people have done. Don't always like them all, and some are just plain BAD, but others have lasting value and appeal and can be exceptionally well-done. I've been collecting VGM fan remixes for a while now, and I've amassed quite a few (like, a few gigs), but only recently did I had enough "StuPid ReMixes" to fill an entire 80-minute CD (and then a little more, as I found out). So, just because I enjoy psychotic rambling, let's explore the content of this CD:

Track 1 (0:15): "Hello, everyone. I am Sonic the Hedgehog, the fastest thing alive." (Followed by a distorted "Se-Ga!") From Rayza's Sonic 3 OC ReMix, "Frozen Knuckles". I do like the rest of the ReMix, but it wasn't "StuPid" enough for this CD, so I just cropped it to the intro because it's a riot. Is that Rayza himself talking? I dunno, but this is probably the funniest voice I have yet heard for Sonic, mostly because it doesn't fit at all. Sonic's pseudo-chipmunk singing voice in "Sonic Arcade" (great soundtrack, BTW; if you like happy technoey stuff at all you owe it to yourself to search the VGM FTPs until you find it) is pretty darn ridiculous, too, but that one, at least, could fit the blue blur. But this one -- you have to hear it to believe it. Hilarious.

Track 2 (4:13): Would've been nice if I had a StuPid Sega-related remix to follow Rayza's sound byte, but a didn't, so... Instead we have Daknit's OC ReMix for "The Sims". I never actually played this game, but my brother did, and he found this heavily amusing, and now I do too. "TechnoAcidTrip" indeed. Those voices are insane.

Track 3 (2:04): Joe Redifer's Chocobo Robovoice ReMix from OC. (Yep, a lot of these are from OverClocked -- http://remix.overclocked.org/ in case you didn't already know.) A total no-brainer for this compilation, this one makes fun of Final Fantasy fanboys with style. And with a Robovoice, of course. Make sure you sing along, and if you can't figure out the lyrics just get them from OC -- or, even better, check out the demented Flash movie inspired by this at New Grounds and follow the bouncing Boco's lead.

Track 4 (4:00): "Invasion of the Gabber Robots" by the Laziest Men on Mars, ReMixing the opening cinema music from "Zero Wing"... with yet more Robovoices and many, many reiterations of the infamous "All Your Base Are Belong To Us". The fad associated with ZW is long over, but its bad translation still cracks me up... And, even better, do you know how easy it would be to make an EVA-related spoof? Fellow EVA-worshipper Morgan-kun and I actually compiled the dialogue for it a while back. It's all fairly predictable, with "Somebody set up us the N2 Mine", "All your EVA are belong to us", "Take off every EVA! You know what you doing! Move EVA! For Great Justice!", and all that. Fits in rather well with the first half of EoE, actually, and Keel Lorenz stands in perfectly for the fellow from CATS (complete with the cyborg getup), but, anyway... This ReMix rox0rz (oh no! I did it again!), and it, too, has a Flash movie to go along with it. But you probably saw it already, didn't you?

Track 5 (0:54): "Ganon Likes Men"? I have no idea -- I found this on WinMX while browsing somebody's shared files, and the title caught my eye. No ID3s, though, so I have no idea if that's the real title, or who's responsible for it. This is actually a remix of one of those "Legend of Zelda" commercials from the 80's -- which I actually had an MP3 of at some point or another -- with a white kid "rap" that's so bad it's funny. "The Legend of Zelda is really rad / Those creature from Ganon are really bad", etc. etc. It's got a great distorted laugh and all sorts of strange, laugh-out-loud gibberish, along with cheesily ("cheese" and variations thereof is my current "new word" -- it's all Mazedude's fault) ominous background music that could have its origins in the games, though I'm not positive. "Yeah, go Link, yeah, get some!" (Questionable lyrics for a kid's TV commercial, but, hey, 'twas the 80's...)

Track 6 (1:03): The Rabbit Joint's "Legend of Zelda" lyrical mix. This is one of the better-heard VGM remixes, and deservedly so -- it's a riot, and the lyrics are great. "...so you'll be brave and not be a sissy coward!" BTW, "System of a Down" did NOT make this, and whoever relabeled the MP3 for the first time, put it in their shared files, and originated this massive misconception should be spoonfed to Dr. Evil's sharks-with-friggin'-laser-beams-attached-to-their-heads.

Track 7 (1:42): Dale North's "Satomi Tadashi Northside Rx" from "Persona". Dale's made some beautiful VGM remixes, including some of the ones in my oft-listened-to "Nappy Time" playlist. And then he makes remixes like this. 100% novelty, mildly tasteless, and very funny. This one's sung in the character of a dirty old man who runs a pharmacy -- well, just look at the lyrics (OC, dude) and you'll get the idea. I'm still wondering if the ad-libbed "stupid @$$ wh0re" is actually "stupid-@$$ wh0re" or "stupid @$$-wh0re" -- hey, it does make a difference, doesn't it?

Track 8 (3:12): "Warp to World 6-9" by B.E.N.E.F.I.T. Unlike virtually everything else here, this was originally from an album -- well, not a real high-end release far as I know, but, still. (Just type the info into Google to find out more, y0.) Usually, I despise rap and anything resembling it, but this -- this is classic stuff. Unless you're an uneducated innocent, one look at the title will clue you in that this song is definitely up to no good. It opened my eyes up to a side of Mario I hadn't previously considered -- he's not out to save the Princess just to be heroic, if you know what I mean. ::wink-wink:: Well, with pudgy plumbers sent to Italy in their infancy from alternate universes populated by multi-colored self-impregnating dinosaurs, who really knows... Anyway, this song is filthier than the filthiest of filthy lucre, but, if you don't have any qualms about that, it's technically very well-done and funnier than frell, so check it out. "Save the Princess quick / Because she wants a--" Erm, nevermind...

Track 9 (0:09): Yet another disembodied intro, this one from Aneurysm's "Crashed Men" Mega Man 2 ReMix. "What a shame... Dumb $#it. Anyway!" So great. ::D

Track 10 (1:28): Uh-oh, I'm not only disembodying intros, I'm hacking up remixes, too... But this compilation was for me and me alone, so who cares. Shael Riley's "Break the Beat in Half, Dr. Wily (extrapiemix)" from "The Wily Wars" was originally (3:02), but the very beginning and latter half were the only parts that really qualified as StuPid, so I... abridged it. It worked out really nicely, though, for my purposes. My favorite parts of this ReMix make liberal use of in-game sound effects and soundbytes from the old "Mega Man" cartoon -- which I've never actually seen and haven't heard anything too wonderful about, though I do remember being impressed (after seeing a commercial, long ago) with how much more in-character ol' Rock looked than his "Captain N" incarnation. ::shiver:: The mix is technically good, but it's probably the sound bytes and how they're used that really crack me up. I know, I'm easily amused. "Proto Man to the Rescue!!"

Track 11 (1:26): Sort of companion-piece to his Chocobo one (well, I assume so, anyway), Joe Redifer's Mega Man 2 Robovoice ReMix. Pokes fun at Rockman's creators ("Those folks at Capcom, they have no shame, make tons of sequels they will...") and fanboys expertly, though I never did like how this remix just fades out, and while Robo's still talking, too. Blah.

Track 12 (1:53): "My Mother's a Hillbilly Bitch" by Vincent (no, not Mr. Valentine), ReMixing "Docaty Mountain Railroad" from Super Mario RPG. Got it off vgmix.com before the house went down. And glad I did, too. The intro is classic, classic -- if you can stand "Warp to World 6-9", anyway, as this is equally tasteless. It has this hard-edged 'redneck' (sounds kind of like somebody I'd expect to find at a monster truck rally or something, though for some odd reason I think the voice fits SMRPG's character Bukki/Booster eerily well -- not that Bukki ever said anything quite like what's said here) going on about the glorious Cro-Magnon knuckle-dragging, er, 'excessively-endowed' days before the fiddles start up and the remix gets going. (Why must it fall plight to the eViL fadeout?! Fadeouts are for VGM soundtracks, not remixes! ARGH!) Not sure if the intro is original for this mix or not, but it's absolutely hilarious. So-called "rednecks" might take offense, but, hey, call me a "Yank" all you want, I don't give a pupupachu.

Track 13 (2:08): Uh-oh... More poking fun at those poor hillbillies. o_O This here's D.J. Pretzel's Bubble Bobble "Hillbilly Rodeo" ReMix, which he's already written a disclaimer for, so I don't need to make one here. ::> Great, funny stuff -- and I can really identify with Lloyd-san making such a complete idiot of himself, since I do it myself all the time. (See "Noises." Har har.) Love those sheep S.E., too.

Track 14 (1:10): More mischief from Dale North, the SMB3 "Swingin' Porno Mix". According to the blurb he wrote for this on VG Mix (currently inaccessible, unfortunately), the origin of the moaning sounds and the bed creaking aren't quite as swingin' porno as listening to this might make ya think. Always wondered what this mix would be like if you substituted the S.E. Dale used with select Mario and Peach sound effects from "Super Smash Bros. Melee"... Heh, why me think of such things...

Track 15 (5:12): Dale North and Mustin's "Team Gato" from "Chrono Trigger". Long compared to most everything else here, but it's all part of the experience. This classic ReMix takes you to an imaginary stage (complete with an audience that's not afraid to speak up) where various performers do their own take of Gato's little jingle (you know, "My name is Gato / I have metal joints / Beat me up and win 15 Silver Points"). Very funny provided you're patient enough to give your attention to the whole thing, and some of the would-be Gatos are a real trip. ("...so put down your sword and let's smoke this joint!" Good gawd...)

Track 16 (0:57): Gwilym Wogan's little "D.J. Harry" from "Silent Hill" (yet another game I've never played), off vgmix. I cut off the quiet instrumental intro to get to the real beef -- short, funny, and rotating almost completely around the timely repetition of some Harry sound bytes. "My daughter, My daughter, my da-da, da-da-da-da-daughter..." And the ending's just great.

Track 17 (2:20): Aqua behind the instrumentation and Injury/Starla singing for this exquisite "Venus-Signed Banana Peel", a impeccable realization of the EarthBound pop-singer's vocal number. In the game, she was just doing that Celes-esque "wah-wah" thing (ugh) -- nice to be able to finally sing along! The witty lyrics don't reveal anything new about ladies'-man Prince Poo, but, I must say, I never would've guessed that Jeff had-- O_O; Well, it does explain why Venus turned over that signed banana peel so happily, doesn't it? ;;p

Track 18 (0:55): Zelda 3, Hazama's "Town Music (Busy Life OVERCLOCKED)". Always thought this could use at least another verse, but what's here is good. A world of meaning in that one "but".

Track 19 (1:01): "One-two-three-four..." Reichu's hacking things up yet again... Nines' "Floating Point Vectors" from "VectorMan". I wasn't crazy about the guitar parts, but that sick, twisted voice (what's he saying? "Destroy... Cylinder! Heh heh heh heh!!!"?) was so... great, I had to put it on here.

Track 20 (0:47): "Hey, man..." The awesome intro from the Mega Man 3 mega-collaboration "Needles", hacked up slightly because "Needles" itself didn't quite fit in on this CD... but "The Music of My Groin" is mentioned, so with a weetle editing I transformed this into an intro for that.

Track 21 (1:01): Well, duh... "The Music of My Groin"! Shael Riley spared no expense on this one ;;>, but it's so randomly ingenious, who cares? Now that I think about it, yes, "Zelda" has much in common with Mr. Riley's groin... ::nod-nod:: But, "I can play it all day long"... Good gawd. >_<;

Track 22 (3:59): The absolutely ingenious "The Atomizer" by Mustin, completely immortalizing the Atma Weapon battle from "Final Fantasy VI". All of the random, off-the-wall screaming and monster roars really do the battle justice, from what I remember of it... And that sound byte at the beginning (which I wouldn't doubt was extracted from "Looney Tunes"), "Now I'll use my SECRET WEAPON! ::zoom::" Gawd, I can just imagine Kefka saying it -- it's so PERFECT! Plus, any ReMix that pays homage to good ol' Private Hudson from "Aliens" automatically gets Brownie Points from me.

Track 23 (4:54): Another from Mustin, in the same vein as the previous track -- that's why I put them together, ya know? "Haunted Hell" from Super Mario 64, appropriately more atmospheric and creepy than "Atomizer", but populated with even more screaming and aptly-chosen movie sound bytes (one of which sounds strangely familiar, but I can't place it...). And gotta love that part at about 3:00... ::chirpy Big Boo giggle:: Creepy ending, too.

Track 24 (0:49): AmIEviL's Super Mario Bros. "Soundcheck", mostly just here because that distorted "Gwarrrrrrghhh!" at the beginning is so great! (Fits perfectly after "Haunted Hell"...) Well, the rest is pretty cool, too. Short but sweet.

Track 25 (1:36): "Drunken Moogles at a Piano" by Johno, I believe. Got this eons ago from BigMog.com, and quite glad I did. Assuming "Final Fantasy VI"'s Mog had any piano prowess, and was familiar with the theme given him by Uematsu-san, this piece is likely what would happen if you got him (or her?) well-pissed and placed in front of a piano. Very rambling and, well, drunk, but also very well-done. And talk about well-chosen titles.

Track 26 (2:05): "Yo, Noodles!" Super Mario Bros. "Dirty Mix" by A Scholar, A Physician, and a handful of other blokes. Complete and utter insanity, Mario-style -- the creators actually explain the process that yielded the final piece in this mix's ReView section at OC. More distortion and random voice samples than you can shake a flopping Magikarp at, but it all works. Best seen in conjunction with the Flash movie "Super Mario Blitz" at http://www.mortisland.com, which has "Dirty Mix"'s creators' approval. (Well, they approved of it after Mortis made it, but still.) Possibly describable as a Mario acid trip, on crack and shrooms and then some, but at least you get to see Lou Albano's "disoriented face" at the end. ;;p "It should be all wavely..."

Track 27 (3:51): Injury's "8-bit Eighties" from "Super Mario Bros.". The musical aspect is kind of repetitive and all, but her "comments" in the background make up for it. If chicks fawned over Mario (well, I guess they do here), this is what they'd say. (::sings along:: "Hey Mario, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Mario...")

Track 28 (4:36): Another from vgmix, zyko's "Brothaz 4 Life". The melody isn't from any Mario game I've ever heard -- for all I know, it could be ripped off from one of those strumming-on-a-guitar-singing-one's-heart-out sort of songs (which is basically what this song does) or, or... it could even be ORIGINAL! But, like I said, I'm ignorant here. Zyko's singing isn't too bad -- corny, perhaps, and it definitely seems overly serious in tone if you listen to some of the unrepeatable things he says about Mario and Luigi (and Peach, and Toad, and... well, you get the picture), but I'm guessing that's the point. ..."Chicken!"

Track 29 (11:48): A big-arse Legend of Zelda "2002" remix by OneUp Studios (which I'm pretty sure is just fancy for "Dale North and Mustin" ;;p). (There were actually other "2002" Zelda remixes, but I only got about one of them on WinMX, and I didn't see them anywhere on the OneUp Studios homepage. Blah.) A rather unique medley of tunes from various Zelda games that is somewhat more entertaining than most medleys by virtue of its "sound drama" aspect. Link, Zelda, Navi, etc., are all characters in the slightest semblance of a "story" that's going on, and the music changes to fit the scenes. The character voices are all pretty cheesy --Link's voice fits him about as well as any of my jeans from junior high fit me now (but, er, let's not get into that...), and everybody's voiced by the same two guys, so 'nuff said on the Zelda/Navi situation ;;> -- but I'm guessing it's all intentional. My only real problem with this is that they refer to Epona as a he, which is complete and utter fallacy! Epona is a FEMALE!!! ::does EVA roar and stomps off to throttle OneUp Studios:: She was even named for a Celtic goddess or something -- least, if I remember the liner notes from that cassette copy of Enya's "The Celts" lying near the boombox in the lobby of my psychiatrist's office correctly, which we'll assume for all intensive purposes that I do. Any rate, also worth mentioning there's a reference in here to "Team Gato", which I did find absolutely hysterical the first time I hear this -- almost made up for the screwup on Epona's gender. >::]

Track 30 (1:09): Uh-oh, it's "Zero Wing" again... This one's not really a ReMix, but, hey, it's pertinent. Found it on WinMX, and the ID3 says stilesproject.com, so I'm assuming that's where it originally came from. Basically, a rendition of ZW's opening scene, which, unfortunately, replaces the game's kick-arse BGM with this incidental ambient stuff, but it does use real voices that actually follow the dialogue all the way through. They misquote it at one point ("You have no choice to survive make your time"? WHAT?), but, that and the music gripe aside, this is great. The voice actors are hilariously bad and overdo everything in the cheesy, bad-but-funny anime dub style -- all on purpose, I'm assuming, being as the people that originally translated the dialogue so bad are probably the same sort of folks that used to translate anime so bad (and, quite likely in some unfortunate cases, still do). The enunciations are just so ... great. I even got my dad repeating some of this stuff. ^_^

Track 31 (1:27): And now we're in the domain of ... BAD. But bad on purpose, in which case "bad" can actually be "good". Depending on your perspective, anyway. SonicBlade's farcical "ULTIMATE JENOVA MIX" that he posted on vgmix (to the chagrin of some), which, after a cool little intro, flushes itself right down the toilet. It's basically a chorus of guys trying to, er, sing? this FF7 extraterrestrial baddie's normally kick-arse theme and end up sounding like a bunch of cheap plastic kazoos. If you know what "J-E-N-O-V-A" is supposed to sound like, this can be almost tear-inducingly hilarious -- even the guys doing the kazooing ended up laughing at themselves at one point. Would almost certainly never be accepted at OC, but worthwhile nonetheless for its utter, unabashed stupidity.

Track 32 (1:14): And for more unabashed stupidity, only from the old vgmix... That kooky "Fanatics" song from FF6, sung by two iNsAne fanboys (the self-appointed "Fanatics Tower of POWER" -- heh, the prophecy of Joe Redifer come true!) with only a guitar and hand-crafted lyrics to keep things going. "WALKING WALKING WALKING WALKING, TOWER TOWER TOWER TOWER, EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL, ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING..." Probably a little more... accessible than the previous "ReMix", but still only enjoyable if you're able to cast away every ounce of seriousness in your person for the necessary minute+.

Track 33 (2:25): A compilation track of a few other FToP ditties I managed to get (they made one for, like, every other FF6 song, I'm not kidding -- well, maybe a little less, but it was still a lot): Kefka, Celes, VICTORY, FIGHT, and Crazy Old Man (the latter equates the unpronounceably-titled track "??", in case you couldn't figure it ought -- it took me quite a while). Production values seemed to slip a bit from their take on the track they named themselves after (i.e., the previous track), but, still, these are worth a laugh, or two, or more if you're amused easily like some of the people around here (::turns to look nervously at own reflection in nearby TV screen::). "Oh, $#it, I broke a string!" "You can't say $#it!" "Oops!" ::evil giggling::

Track 34 (1:01) and Track 35 (0:41): Well, I ran out of StuPid ReMixes that would actually fit in the remaining time, so I just threw in these embarassing, but no less entertaining, gems of video game history: The infamous 'Plumber Rap' and "Do the Mario!" from the ol' "Super Mario Bros. Super Show". Hey, if wrestlers-turned-plumbers can make complete idiots of themselves on public TV, well, I sure as he11 can in the privacy of my own room dungeon! ::swings her arms from side-to-side:: "Come on its time to go, do the Mario!"

And that's the end of my happy little CD. So far, 000000 out of 000000 have found this "review" useful, but at least it's "000000" and not a negative or something. ::p

Hmm, did it stop snowing yet? If a mere two days of college being uncharacteristically closed result in this level of typed babbling, just imagine... Hmm... Forgot what I was gonna say. But, you know, at least it's comprehensibly typed babbling and not the "drivel" (as Papa Haydn of the Frightening Avatars so aptly put it) you'll find everywhere else in this big empty pit we call the "Internet". But this is all just an excuse to spam my own page now, so I'd better sto-------------

Knuckles and the White Vixen

[February 16, 2003] Dreams, dreams. Crazy, crazy things that I have many of, and all-too-often forget to note what exactly I've dreamt. With the strange result that I often have difficulty remembering what actually happened in real life and what didn't. Tis true -- a lot of what happens in my dreams actually seems to be dialogue between myself and people I know, and what I vaguely remember of it all seems to be perfectly believable. Except for the fact that none of it happened. Quite a shame I don't remember more of my dreams, save for bits and pieces that I randomly remember here and there, as they all seem to have been quite interesting.

Yesterday, I, for some strange reason or another, slept all day long -- with the regrettable result that I've ended up staying up until at least 7 AM the next day (i.e., today) so far. Blast. Anyway, one interesting thing about sleeping for so long is that I have especially vivid dreams that have somewhat longer life spans in my working memory. Somehow, I still remember at least some segments of my last whacky slumberfest, so I might as well do what I always forget to and scribble down at least some of it. Well, not so much scribble as type up -- and, for reasons completely beyond me, put up on this page for the whole world potentially to read. It seems more "wholesome" than some dreams out there, so why not?

Quite strangely, this one had a lot of Sonic the Hedgehog content. I have no idea why, especially because I've actually been playing "Wario Land II" lately and not one itty bit of Sonic. Anyways, this Sonic bit came up after another phase (or two) of dreaming that I can scarcely remember -- something about going to a big mall in a bus with lots of other people and taking too long looking around for stuff (in bookstores and stuff, I believe), and the bus still being out there waiting for me hours after it should have left. Now I vaguely recall some incarnation of that loveable genetic freak Stitch being present around this phase of the dream, as well -- bizarre. And something about a bunch of other people and myself walking along a boardwalk that wasn't even near a beach (so don't ask me how it was a "boardwalk" -- it just was), then getting to some rundown part with a big sign that said 'The <some name> Boardwalk ends here' and some rundown, overgrown boardwalk began (so rundown that the deplorable movie "Batman Forever" was being advertised as being in theaters, on a ... bulletin board?). There was also something else in there about Final Fantasy VIII character Laguna Loire going undercover working in some store, and as an overly busty chick, too! (Laguna doesn't need too much help to look like a chick, but him in a D-cup was a bit... much...) And for some reason, I was there -- watching a guy dressed in a yellow rabbit costume enter the store and talk to 'guna -- commenting to my sister that the whole spectacle reminded me of a TV show episode or something one of her friends had shown us, but of course in real life said TV show doesn't exist. But I digress. Onto Sonic.

Anyway, in this dream, I had finally gotten ahold of a copy of "Sonic CD" (can't remember anything about whether it was the American or Japanese version, though -- there were absolutely no musical elements of this dream that I can remember) and I was playing it for the first time, weighing it up against everything that I had heard. [Quite interesting, as, in real life, I rather do want to get ahold of a Sega CD and this particular Sonic game. And both versions of it, nonetheless.] The experience was very typical Sonic at first and the game was everything I'd expected it to be, as far as level designs and the time travel aspect. But, in the inexplicable ways that dreams progress, the game became more and more real, more 3-D, and eventually myself as a person completely disappeared from the picture -- the game completely took over. (Spooky!) And, somehow, my active player went from Sonic to Tails (didn't know you could play as Tails in "Sonic CD" ;;p), and Tails came to some part in the level before one of those big loopy-arch things that you need to pick up a lot of speed beforehand to go through successfully. (Except, oddly, this one was on the LEFT side of the screen, but it still seemed to be the key to progressing in this particular level.) Anyway, Tails displayed here a nonexistent feature in this game -- evidently, this game was 2-D after all just like any other classic Sonic, but you could move backward and forward through different planes (like foreground, middle ground, background) by pressing a button. He moved into the background (in wasn't clear here whether or not I was actually controlling him, though) and found a bunch of those bonus item things that you jump onto to get the goodies inside. And, quite strangely, one of them was the walking-shooting-robotic thing that Tails uses in "Sonic Adventure 2"; soon as he got into it, the game instantly turned into a 3-D action stage sort of thing, and Tails was floating around and shooting things. Except, somehow, we WERE still in "Sonic CD"; as a matter of fact, in one of the alternate-time stages where you have to foil Eggman's plans to save the future, or something. So Tails, in his walking armor gig, entered this jungle-like environment on the way to wherever Robotnick was. The only badnicks seemed to be giant monkey things at the tops of trees that only activated if you shot at them; the only real obstacle was these two puff-mushroom-type things blocking a path through a bunch of trees.

Tails shot at one of them; it absorbed the shots for a while, growing bigger and bigger until it finally exploded. That tactic didn't work so well on the other, though; it grew bigger, and bigger, and finally mutated into this giant thing that filled up the screen and caused a few problems for Tails that I can't quite remember about anymore. I think that Eggman finally showed up and gloated about his marvelous mushroom-puff-thingie (as if he were a twisted, mad genetic scientist instead of just a sick roboticist that enslaved little animals), inadvertently giving away the secret to defeating it like all good old-fashioned bad guys do. Not that I can remember the secret or anything -- I just know that Tails defeated it and got to Eggman's hideout, successfully making off with some terrible prototype invention (rather small and portable for a terrible invention, though -- it kind of resembled the "keys" from the first "Sonic Adventue") and making the scientist quite irate as a result. Tails went out of the jungle off to this exotic palace-thing on a beach or something, with the doctor in hot pursuit. Who else to show up at the last crucial moment but Sonic himself, who naturally (just like a bad cartoon) taunted the bad guy and made him panic thoroughly before finally disabling him a most humiliating fashion. In my nonsensical dream, "humiliating" meant tying him up with his own sleeves -- no idea how that worked, but it kept the bad doctor from doing anything evil indefinitely enough for him to hang around in the dream and exchange words with the two good guys.

I can't exactly remember how the rest of that segment went -- it probably ended soon after that and moved onto the next incomprehensible phase. There was something about how I couldn't access all of the features in the game because I didn't have a Sega CD peripheral called the Gladiator or something (it doesn't really exist, of course, but it was quite an annoyance in the dream's context -- I think I remember saying something like "I don't have enough money to get more stuff off E-bay now!"), but, somehow, I accessed all sorts of weird features ANYway. Such as, a CG movie that looked suspiciously good for something from the ol' Sega CD (or had we already moved beyond "Sonic CD" by this point in the dream? I dunno), featuring characters that aren't even real Sonic characters, like a white fox chick wearing a purple blouse and black pants. One of the weirdest things of all was that Knuckles had inexplicably become female (and I said something to my brother, I believe, about how "Sega has finally made up their mind" -- as if there had ever been any dispute about Knuckles' gender!, though the whole bit ties in interestingly with how I had gone on a little about Knuckles being female way back in the 7th grade before he had a cute Japanese voice or anything to prove me otherwise). Er, ANYway, perhaps even stranger was that, in whatever Sonic game this CG movie was reputed to have been from, Knuckles had an anthropomorphic incarnation that you could actually play as in this 3-D bonus arena thing, where you had to race to a goal while fending off multiple enemies (all, similarly, bizarrely anthropomorphic). Sometime after this arena thing, I somehow landed in a room where I was talking to a version of E-102 Gamma (though how he could ever be a returning Sonic character is completely beyond me ;;> -- "Hey, little pink birdy, get back into the robot for ol' Eggman, won't ya?"), who, despite the fact that the rest of the characters in this Sonic game were speaking Japanese, spoke perfect English, and didn't sound robotic in the least, either. We were arguing about what his "real" Japanese name was supposed to be, because there was evidently some argument about it despite the fact that his name is, in real life, E-102 Gamma no matter what! o_O

At any rate, all excessively bizarre -- and it probably all proves that I play far too many video games, being as I can somehow have dreams that circulate completely around them. That seems to be all that I can currently remember about the Sonic thread, but then I just started to remember more of the previously-mentioned Stitch aspect... Ergh, but it's all far too vague now to write anything about. And it's a shame I can't remember a single thing about anything in that dream concerning harpy fiends (you know, the fat-lipped slobbering beasts from "End of Evangelion"), because they were, also, in there somewhere [how could Rachel POSSIBLY have any dream devoid of "Evangelion"-related themes??]. Enough of this strange post -- I might as well take a nap now until 11 or so, which ought to give me another strange dream to write about provided I can remember any of it!

BTW: The little fox chick I drew actually bears little to no resemblance to the one in my dream, but, then, from what I remember the one I dreamt looked kind of like your standard-issue furry sort of deal, which is definitely a BAD THING. (Well, that's just me... I find furries, well, horrifying. Have since I first learned what a furry was and there's no convincing me otherwise! >::P Well, I guess some of them are okay... Just some, though.) Anyways, this is just what happened when I attempted to draw any ol'white fox chick with my light pen (which was a bad idea... vector images, baby!). Of course, there's no real telling it's a chick, because I abhore the cartoon convention of making any male non-human the default, the females being differentiated from the default by any combination of: giant eyelashes, eyeliner, any other sort of makeuppy deal, pastel color schemes, and any semblance of a girly hairdo and pectorally-located breasts. Unless, of course, such traits somehow lend themselves to that specific character. Such as, I guess Amy the Hedgehog (I'm guessing she's the same species that Sonic is) wouldn't really be Amy is she wasn't all girly and foofy. But, as for my fox, she's not all girly and foofy, she just is. And, somehow, it didn't occur to me until I actually bothered to draw her that she's the same basic thing as Tails (pretty slow, aren't I?) and could thus be interpreted as a possible (dum-da-dum-dum) love interest. You know how those cliches go. Hmm, I guess it would be a case of the Misty syndrome... "Girl With Eventual Romantic Intentions Follows Prepubescent Guy Around Until He Finally Becomes Legal." But no matter how many decades go by, it doesn't matter -- Tails, Ash, whoever, their voices will never crack, which means they'd probably make better choir boys than romantic interests -- ne?

Hmm, and one unnecessary paragraph just to keep red from clashing with red... Oh, yeah, I think I'll name her... Amelia. HAH HAH HAHAHAHA -- get it?? I don't get it...

...The Brain is the Biggest What?!

[December 17, 2002] Oh, December. Time of Fall semester finals. And, a bit later on, presents. Have you fathomed that, from an environmental bah-humbug perspective, Christmas is one of the most wasteful times of the year for the already-wasteful American people? I, for one, do not give much in the way of gifts. Largely, this is because I'm an unemployed cheap@$$. Well, in theory, I could make presents for people, possessing artistic abilities and all as I am so reputed, but for many reasons I'm especially bad about doing this, so it rarely ever happens. In an ideal world, though, I would do more pictures for people. One of those things I need to work on eventually.

But, onto the point. A lot of "gifts" nowadays are but tokens, and disposable ones at that. Much of the stuff you can get for people at the mall, in catalogs, online, whatever, are just stupid things that provide transient amusement, if any, and just end up being a waste in the end. How much of this stuff do we really need, or really want for that matter? I wouldn't want people wasting their money buying junk for me, nor would I waste my money likewise. I like functional gifts with the potential of longevity, or, if not, things that are meant to be consumed. Personally, my favorite things to get are books, CDs, things like that. If I ever get sick of them, there are other people out there who can give them good homes. Well, I suppose you could say the same about a lot of things (...E-bay...), but, to generalize, there are some "gifts" out there that probably don't have much resale potential.

Considering that a lot of stuff is overpackaged, and packaged in unrecyclable material to boot, people further accentuate the problem with wrapping paper and all of the other trimmings. I suppose there are occasionally efforts to reuse paper, and bows, and whatnot. I know my family does this a bit; we have a few boxes of bows that we reuse, and scraps of salvaged wrapping paper, but, still, a lot still gets wasted. Technically, all those wrapped presents look nice and all, but I would be perfectly happy if my gifts were wrapped in newspaper or something. That's probably even better than pretty wrapping paper, in my book. Wrapping paper and ribbons that get thrown out is one of those things about family gatherings that bother me time and time again, just like throwaway paper plates are often used instead of real dishes, and not just when we're eating outside. We actually have plastic cups for outside that we wash and reuse, so it makes me wonder why we don't reuse plastic plates as well. I asked my mom about it a couple of times, and one reason was to reduce the amount of dishes that would need to be washed. But, heck, even though I'm a useless do-nothing most of the time, I would wash all those dishes if it meant those paper plates weren't going in the trash. Things like that bother me, and, not to be holier-than-thou, if it bothered a lot more people the same way, odds are those landfills wouldn't be filling in quite as fast.

Heh, you can tell I've been taking an environmental concerns class, can't you? Well, I must say, it has been stirring up some of the flames that were there are along. I've always had this deeply-entrenched love for the earth -- geophilia? or is that a disorder for people who make out with sod? beats me... -- that secretly guides my actions and ethics. Well, not so secretly. I like my general patterns of behavior to reflect some sort of consciousness. And a lot of things are long-term habitual. Now, I know there are tons of people out there who have problems with vegetarianism on some level or another, but that's my way of life forever, and, even though I'll purportedly suffer some sort of terrible health crisis eventually because I haven't been downing animal tissues, it is nice to know that vegetarianism is bloody good for the environment. Not to say that all farming associated with plants is good, but a lot of the stuff that goes on out there with cattle and other livestock is just... depressing. Ugh. I'm glad I'm not supporting any of that hell with my eating habits. I can't necessarily say I know where the stuff I do eat comes from, but the way I would like things to be, it would all be from organic farms in this country. Yeah, right. I ought to look more into it, tho...

I really would like my life to more environmentally active than just not eating Fleisch, recycling a lot, only driving if I can't avoid it, respecting all living things, and stuff like that. I definitely have the passion to get out there and do something; I'm just not sure exactly how to go about doing this in the "right" way. I can't even get myself one dinky job -- how am I going to get myself in and groovin' with a bunch of peeps (yo ;;P) out to stop the ways of evil, greed, and ignorance (::cough::Dubya::cough::) and advocate the ways of bettering our harmony with the great Earth Mother? (Well, so to speak -- I'm technically not Pagan, or religious at all for that matter.) I guess I could just get off my over-padded arse and join the Sierra Club's most local chapter or something, but for some reason that just gives me the impression of standing around in hiking boots and staring at little tweeting birds through binoculars or something; I'm totally for people doing that sort of activity, and I love birds, but that just isn't what I want to be doing for the most part. Or maybe I'm just an ignoramus making really absurd generalizations, which is quite likely. I'm sure the Sierra Club does much more than that, but I haven't had the proverbial balls to find out if there's a place for me there.

Well, right now my concern is getting through college and all, which, at the rate I'm going, will be my lifetime occupation. Theoretically, I'll finish up the two years of credits at county college one of these centuries and I'll head off to some other school to get really serious. I had no idea what school that might be, though, until very recently. I haven't really done a whole lot of research on colleges. Actually, I've done absolutely none. I'm really looking out for my future, can't you tell? >::p ...BUT, in the environmental concerns class I just took (today was the last class, for ME anyway; anyone with an A average or above got exempt from the final that's on Wednesday and, miracle of miracles, I made it), there was, despite a prevailing atmosphere of disinterest in the subject matter among my fellow students (I mean, really, there were actually people in that class who had the sheer audacity to leave aluminum cans and glass bottles in the garbage on their way out the door), one chick named Holly who's actually majoring to be an environmental scientist. Talk about coolness.

Much to my regret, I never talked to her a whole lot, though she did surprise the holy he11 out of me and approach me after class one time, commenting on how I was so attentive to the class and so passionate about the subject matter and whether or not I was involved in stuff. She actually seemed to consider it a pity that my major was visual arts -- heh, she just might have a point there -- but did, however, compliment me more heavily and dead-set honestly than I had been anytime in recent memory. It was out of this world, far from a mere ego-trip; Holly's words of encouragement and stuff really got me thinking. She also gave me some information on volunteering to repair nature trails or something, which is an activity she'd participated in, and literature on the college she's going to be going to, College of the Atlantic (I believe) up in Maine. It seems to have a focus on "human ecology", which is definitely a scope I could go for, and the arts is one of foci of the programs there. From what I read, seems like an ideal a college as any for the likes of me ::p, and I'll definitely be looking more into it. Maybe a couple years from now I'll meet up with Holly again there...

But, yeah, she really got me thinking... I've been contemplating illustration of some sort as a viable profession for me, but that would be one he11 of a shallow lifestyle if whatever I was doing didn't somehow tie into the whole environmental thing. I really want some sort of activistic stance to be incorporated into my adult lifestyle (heh, I'm already 20 and I'm still wondering when the heck I'll discover this so-called 'adulthood'). Maybe this school will help me find my niche. Well, naturally, I'm the only one who can find that out for myself, but proper surroundings and stimuli definitely might help. Frankly, I've felt like a bloody lost soul, on and off, for so much of my life so far. I often wonder what it would feel like to consummate some of these dreams I've had of the future for myself... We shall see, one of these days.

I'm getting a bit tired -- it's 1:12 AM and, for a change, it actually has been a long day for me. I finally saw my psychologist for the first time since around Halloween -- due to my own stupidly missing two appointments in a row and then faltering to reschedule until recently -- at noon. Got to discuss pleasant things like my patterns of avoidance behavior from things that cause me anxiety. Supposedly, this is new and prime territory in our discussions, and I'd be inclined to agree. The specifics were very difficult to talk about and, being the heavily sensitive person that I am, I naturally ended up crying a bit. I do that a lot, don't I? (Makes me feel a bit foolish at times, but I suppose all the tears are for good enough reasons.) That was all good and fun... [Hmm, "Chao Garden" from "Sonic Adventure 2" just started playing... So cute, if a bit lethargic.] I drove on over to college, had my last math class before the final Thursday, spent a few hours eating salad and drawing Azzael (and stupidly not getting my arse to the gym for a workout this time -- I suck) before my last enviro class at 6:30, which ended at 9:15 or so.

Would have been nice if the day ended there, but, no, I had to be an absentminded dolt and lock my keys into my car!!! (GRAHHHH!) It was a chilly little hike from Parking Lot 1 to the security office (my sinuses definitely didn't approve); unfortunately, the friendly security officer who helped me out couldn't make my car's locks cooperative with that slim jim thingy. SO, I had to call home and feebly ask my mom to drive the extra set of keys over, but instead, because she's not feeling too good, she had my dad come and pick me up on his way home from work. But he didn't want to leave the car there all night (with the tape deck running as it was... >_<), so we went the half-hour home, picked up the spare keys, and drove the half-hour back to the bloody college, and all the meantime I got to listen to some chick on the radio asking listeners whether or not you can cheat on your spouse without actually having sex with anyone else. (And, damn, that "Slinky" chick that called in sounded like she was on drugs or something! She talked really strangely, and, like, the first thing she said was "The biggest sex organ is the brain..." or something like that. Really weird.)

Fortunately, my car's battery hadn't died or anything, which was a relief -- it started up like a charm. (Not bad for a DIRTY, GAS-GUZZLING MOTOR VEHICLE THAT POLLUTES OUR AIR AND WATER AND LINES THE POCKETS OF GREEDY BUSINESSMEN WITH TOO MUCH POLITICAL INFLUENCE! GRRRRRRR!! Er, I'm mostly just being stupid, but there is a certain air of truth to all that babble, no? You'll have to excuse me, my research paper -- which got turned in a couple weeks late, as usual -_-... Nice, Rachel... -- was about the relationship between highways and sprawl and how not-so-nice both of them have proven to be. At least, not-so-nice if you're a GODDAM TREEHUGGER like me. ::p Har har.) But, er, anyway, by the time we got home, my dad was pretty swamped, so we went off to do our things... So here I am, in my dark little dungeon, in the dirty office chair covered in Donald guano (well, whatever I couldn't get off whenever he decided to do his business on my chair) dooming myself to carpal tunnel syndrome in front of this accursed machine. I guess I've babbled enough for one night... Haven't said everything I wanted to, but that'll have to wait until the next Banter. If I still remember what I originally wanted to say by then.

NOW PLAYING: "Madness" from "Einhänder" -- heh, now there's a title I can relate to. ::p This is an example of the techno-type stuff I actually like and assemble into bizarre and eclectic mix CDs to listen to in my car and whatnot. Since I know absolutely nothing about music in the technical aspect, I have no idea how much of it is actually termed "techno", but, eh, whatever.

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 The Raptorian Sector -- Banter. All original content © 1996-2003 Rachel K. Clark -- All Rights Reserved.
Screenshots from "Evangelion" copyright © GAINAX/Project Eva.