I draw, I write, I (try to) translate Japanese ... and I make funny noises! Anyone who knows me in real life knows about this habit of mine. Every once in a while, I overdose on caffeine or sugar or something, and I sit down with this krippy old microphone and make lots of strange vocalizations. A lot of the time, they're Pokémon noises. Or they're bad attempts to sing, or speak Japanese, or make horrific screeches and grunts, or otherwise savagely abuse my larynx.
Most of these just sit around on my hard drive because I'm too lazy to go through them, but I intend on putting more online, eventually. Why, do you ask? Why would I want random people I probably am not even aware of the existence of to hear bad recordings of me making vocalizations both silly and grotesque? For the kripkapoodles of it, natürlich! ["kripkapoodles" = not real word!] And because maybe, just maybe, some of these are actually kind of funny. At least if you appreciate my strange sense of humor. They should require but mere seconds to download and be perceived by your audio-sensory faculties, so, if you do not fear the possible damage to your higher neurological functioning... go for it!
I killed my throat making these files. They were originally WAV files, but I converted them into MP3s ... because they're, like, ten times smaller (and I can attach info to them!). They're home-made, so I don't think I'm breaking any rules. So, download, enjoy, even post them elsewhere if you want (but I'd appreciate being told first). [I don't care about these sound bites like I care about my artwork.]
Pokemon Impersonations
Based on those Japanese critters you either
love or hate -- or do a little bit of both. Not guaranteed to be any good, but
hopefully a tad amusing.
And 15 more from one throat-killing day back in 2000 [September 23, to be precise]. Pardon the strange numberings -- there are zillions more from the same session I still haven't processed.
Random Noises
Being non-Pokemon vocalizations that aren't saying anything in particular.
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That thing that
Kirby says adorably in "Super Smash Bros." and not quite as
cutely in "Super Smash Bros. Melee".
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Like it says. "Blech!"
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A few different
strange, possibly even troubling [but not in an ellicit way], sounds that
I edited into a crude "collage" of sorts. The last few seconds
remind me of Double's transformation cry [from "Megaman X4"]
in some vague way.
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Sounds kind of like
a duck, but honks at the beginning. Right.
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Most of the time, "Ooohoohoohoo!" would refer to one of James' [from Pokemon] myriad strange noises. This time, however, it refers to a Sachiel (see further below) giggle that didn't quite make it. Righty-o. |
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Well, probably more
pathetic than painful, but whatever.
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I can probably hold
one of these longer than 11 seconds, too.
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Random Voices
More of me trying to push the limits of my larynx and sound as little like
myself as possible. [With scant success, methinks. Oh well, there goes a possible
career doing voiceovers...]
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With "Ano..."
being a Japanese equivalent of "Um...". I was probably trying
to sound like Shinji [from "Evangelion"] or something.
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Also from "Evangelion",
Asuka's favorite vocalization [aside from maybe "Iyaaaaa!"],
being an especially bossy way to say "You idiot!" Odds are,
tho, I sound even less like Yuko Miyamura than I do like Megumi Oogata.
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You can really sense
the anguish in this voice... or you'll just be so utterly disgusted you'll
want to forget you ever heard it. ::}
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Guess "freak"
was my Word of the Day...
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This was my exact
reply to when my brother overheard me recording my strange noises in my
room and asked me what the he11 I was doing. And I just had to
follow up with those 'tard sounds. Oy.
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Like "I don't
know!", another random real-time interjection upon one of my noise-recording
sessions. This time, the microphone wasn't quite cooperating, so...
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Ah, fear not...
This not does refer to actual suicidal tendencies (which I do not have,
besides), just a follow-up, of sorts, to the "Complete freak!"
byte above. And, darn, this voice is terrible, somebody really
ought to do it a favor! ::P
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Shito being
the "angels" from "Evangelion" [again], this is me,
talking in Japanese, with what is likely a terrible accent, for a bloody
minute and 11 seconds, saying little more than the numerical designations
and katakana-ized names of Anno's angels. But if you're patient, and can
catch on to the pattern, there's a bit of silly randomness that pops up
at the end...
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Talking about shito
again, using the most basic Japanese grammar. What's that about Shamshel?
::>
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The cast of NGE
says it a lot cooler than I do, but this is, really, how shito
is pronounced... Just pretend like the "i" isn't there -- almost.
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I think my parents
already know this, though.
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A reference to the
really bad (and really funny) dub of "Rockman X4" ("Megaman
X4"), but the awful laugh is completely my own -- well, inspired
a bit by my dad's own insane noises.
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I think I came out
sounding kind of like King Hippo from "Captain N" in this one.
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This particular
"Yeah!" is done, sort of, in a vocal pattern my household associates
with parrots -- if you've heard the famous African Grey Parrot, Alex,
and his "four corners", this may make a little
more sense.
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And here are some bytes ascribed to Sachiel, Zeruel, and Shamshel, meant to be rough approximations of the vocal patterns I imagine for said characters from my fan "Evangelion" spinoff, "Holy Shito!" [Go to Gallery: Fan: Eva: Holy Shito! for more info.] There is no real way to explain any of these, pending the theoretical day I actually finish and 'release' some of "HS!", except that most of the "dialogue" is inspired by scenes I intend to eventually include.
Singing
Sometimes, I actually try to sing. Usually,
this is only when I'm taking a shower, trying to keep Donald happy, or high
on sugar or caffeine and thus could care less what anybody thinks. Now, I'm
not saying I sing well -- though my mum and random other people that
hear my occassional "outbursts" tend to claim otherwise. So I guess
that means if you don't agree with them, it's the microphone's fault for not
capturing perfectly the intrinsic splendor of my voice in song. Or maybe I really
am bad after all and the fact that I'm putting these online (along with
all of my other terrible noises) means that I really don't have any shame.
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Not really singing,
but playing a "trumpet" with the side of my mouth. Truly awful
in every way -- though the microphone's screwing up almost sounds appropriate...
[Morgan-kun, this one is for you! ::}]
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The first verse
from what is probably my favorite duel chorus in that crazy (but respectably
unusual) anime "Shoujo Kakumei UTENA". I seemed to be doing
pretty good... until that "Ahhhhh...". Bleh.
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Just me and my bad
microphone, we'll sing "Sonic Adventure 2" songs... Funny how
I decided not to let the karaoke version of the song play in the
background while I tried to sing this, tho. Next time, maybe. [Be afraid!]
Take note the unconventional "ending", as well.
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The first few lines
from "End of Evangelion"'s "Komm, süsser Tod",
sung in a deliberately silly manner, with a bit of a ... shocker ending.
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The main chorus
from one of my favorite "Rammstein" songs [apart from "Engel"],
"Klavier", which means ... "piano". Notice the l33t
German accent [har-har] and the cute echo effect I added (only because
it made this recording only slightly less mediocre than it already was).
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There's this CD
called "Super Mario Bros. Vocal Special", which features both
Japanese vocal versions of Mario tunes both familiar and not and a series
of inane dialogues between Mario, Princess Peach, and Kuribo [Goomba].
Not like I own it, tho -- the CD's ultra-rare and I only downloaded it
off Cloud's Villa years ago. Quite irritatingly, no one online seems to
have the lyrics anywhere, which means I had to try to figure out what
they were saying myself. I feel pretty confident I figured out most of
"Learning from the Wind", so I decided to try singing, all pretty
and stuff, a few lines from it, including these two. Ah, so much banter
for an 11-second-long recording that's not really worth any attention
at all...
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This came from absolutely
nowhere... The Pokemon Raichu, singing the "Eight Melodies"
tune from the Famicom game "Mother" (a.k.a. "Earthbound
Zero")? Talk about going nutters. Fans of Queen Mary's song, stay
far away!
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A song from "End
of Evangelion" I was never especially fond of... but here's my tribute
to it nonetheless. >::D Cover your ears, children, this could get ugly!
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Just some random
singsonginess, with a rather nice, er, flourish at the end.
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Donald
A couple of "guest appearances" by my good friend the mitred conure,
Donald. [That's a type of parrot, by the way...]
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A few years back,
my sister [who technically owns Donald] went off to Navy bootcamp. Somebody
got the strange idea to teach Donald to sing "Anchors Aweigh!"
so that he could sing it for her whenever she returned. She never got
in the Navy, but Donald still remembers how to sing (in his own way) the
two words we managed to teach him.
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Me singing "Unknown
from M.E." (from "Sonic Adventure"), very badly, and Donald's
two cents on the whole ordeal. "Yeah, that's right!"
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Donald imitating
either Pikachu or Chikorita -- I'm not quite sure.
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At least that's
sort of what it sounds like...
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One of many strange
interchanges between The Bird and myself. This is, truly, ground-breaking
communication between very different but equally sentient lifeforms. ::>
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Donald trying to
mimic Aerodactyl... and not completely succeeding.
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And always more where those came from...
in due time. In the unlikely (?) event you actually think I should keep any
of these abominations online, you'd better let me know before I decide to try
to compense for the perceived sin of putting them online to begin with! ::}
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The Raptorian Sector -- Noises,
version 1.1. [August 18, 2002]
All original content © 1996-2003 Rachel K. Clark. Pokémon
© Nintendo and Gamefreak.
Evangelion © GAINAX/Project Eva. Etc., etc. All Rights Reserved
See page's history.
